The Second City Touring Company

When you need sports advice, look to our jocks. Steroid problem? Us too. Fear of being traded? You needed a change anyway. Deciding if your jock is big enough? Maybe we can’t help you there, but we know of some great websites...

Broken, old, and retired...oh, and dumb.

Rachel Miller	Seth Weitberg	Brian Jack	Josh Miller	Vindictive Webmasters
Lance Armstrong fell while riding in Spain and may have injured his collarbone...does this mean we all have to wear CollorStrong bracelets now?
I just hope he didn't damage his one remaining testicle.	I do whatever Lance Armstrong says.	Necklace would be more appropriate.	There’s gotta be an energy drink that fixes a broken collarbone right?	Douchebags wore them before and douchebags will wear them henceforth.
Is your NCAA bracket busted yet?
This question implies I had one to start with.	For some reason my system of arbitrarily picking winners in five minutes and always picking Duke to win, never seems to pan out.	Nope. I got 11 out of 16. I'm still in this thing.	I have the same arbitrary system as Seth except I try to pick a winner. Doesn’t work out for me either.	NO. But Jimmy "The Greek's" knees are.
Did anyone know they do one of these March Madness things for lady Basketball too?
What about a bracket for the tall ladies on America's Next Top Model?	Hell yeah, go lady Blue Devils! Team fundamentals!	Adorable. They must be just trying to get in shape for bathing suit season.	Oh is that what the NIT is?	How in the hell could they be playing basketball when they're in the kitchen fixin' us a sammich?!
Curt Shilling announced his retirement today from his blog. Do you expect that to last?
Good to go out on top.....especially if he hopes to join his friggin sock in Cooperstown.	Yeah, he's gotta get on to a career as a neo-conservative pundit.	Probably. He's been in the league for 100 years.	Snarky political comment followed by snarky sock comment, finish off with snarky comment about douche-tard personality in general.	Visit 38pitches.com to order your CollorStrong bracelet TODAY!!!
NFL receivers are dumb. This proves it. Since Wonderlic scores apparently don't matter, why do Combine invitees even take it if they’re going to look that dumb?
It's like that strongman carnival game where you try to ring the bell with the sledgehammer -- you always think you're going to do way better than you actually can....especially when you're dumb.	Because sports is all about fun numbers. WonderLICK! Burn.	Because they're dumb. As long as they can memorize a their receiving routes, that's all the learning they need. I feel bad for the guys who scored low and don't make the cut. They're dumb without a future.	Man, I'd love to take that test just to see how dumb a 6 is. I know how dumb I am and I've got to rate at least a 15.	Wait...didn't you just answer your own question?

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posted: 03/25/2009
update: 03/25/2009

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